Shenanigans
by insufferablyteslen
Summary: Helen comes home from a mission looking for her missing Vampire. She finds him in the kitchen. Shenanigans ensue. Beware adult situations.


**Blame chartreuseian. She made me do it. **

* * *

Helen loved roaming through the halls of her new Sanctuary. They hadn't settled on a name yet and with Henry and Nikola's track record of naming things, that was probably for the best. Today, however, she wasn't enjoying it as much as she normally would. She had walked the entire complex twice and was yet to find her vampire.

She checked their bedroom, his labs, her office... and no Nikola. Henry and Will quieted down when she stopped in to see them after returning from her trip - a simple abnormal capture that she had a couple of new trainees tag along for - so she knew they knew what he was up to, but she decided to spare them in case he found who spilled. They promised he wasn't in any trouble and had behaved himself while she was gone. These days, she wasn't sure who was babysitting who when she left.

He normally greeted her at the door or in their bedroom, usually with wine and flowers and that grin that made her do just about anything he wanted and she was kind of looking forward to it. No, she was definitely looking forward to it. No, she was downright horny and at this point getting very frustrated that she couldn't find him.

"Damn it, where is he?" she muttered to herself, wondering where else she hadn't looked.

She was about ready to go make Henry turn over the security logs when she heard... singing? In the _kitchen_?

She peered into one of the secondary kitchens on the residential levels and saw none other than that smug, arrogant, magnetic lover of hers... cooking?

She knew Nikola could cook but she hadn't actually seen him do it since he could afford not to. He hadn't seen her, so she observed quietly from behind the doorway.

He had music on and was swaying, chopping onions. Rather skillfully, she noticed. He turned back to the sink and all she could think about was getting her hands on him when–

"Helen?" he said as looked up. She was caught. She knew with those vampire senses of his that she'd never get away. She stood up and walked fully into the doorway.

"Nikola...? What are you doing?" she asked.

"Welcome home, my dear!" he said with a charming smile. "How was your trip?"

"All went according to plan..." She paused and walked over to lean against the centre island, giving him a nice peek down the front of her low-cut dress. "Nikola, what are you doing?"

He turned to toss the onions in the saucepan, giving her a nice view of his arse and turning her on even more.

"Cooking!" he said with a grin and such glee that she normally only saw when he was hacking into government servers.

"I can see that Nikola. Why are you cooking?" she asked, now losing patience.

"I thought you might be hungry after your trip," he replied.

He added tomato sauce to the pan and stirred it before adding a lid.

She sighed. "No, I meant why are _you_ cooking?"'

He turned back to her, "Oh. Um, the Big Guy wouldn't do it for me," he mumbled, giving her a meek smile as he glanced up from the cutting board.

She took notice of his lack of a "hairy butler" nickname but left it alone for now. "Why?" she asked.

He shook his head, then tried to decide if answering or avoiding would get him into more trouble. "Ugh. OK. Look, I thought I'd help him by copying those ridiculous DVDs of his _Supernatural Examination_–"

"_Paranormal Investigation,_" she corrected, rolling her eyes.

"–and loading them right into the media server so he didn't have to change discs all the time," he explained.

"And?"

"And... I may have spilled wine all over seasons three through five. But the discs were fine! He's mad about the crappy cardboard sleeves," he said.

Helen rolled her eyes and smiled at him, trying not to let her amusement show.

"I was _trying_ to do a nice thing! You know, fit in a little bit more. They all act like I don't pull my weight since I'm sleeping with the boss and all. Then he told me if I called him one more name he'd... well, let's just say he reminded me that he handles the laundry around here," he said, with drama only he would express so adorably.

Nikola moved over to dump a handful of pasta in the now boiling water while Helen came around to his side of the island, reaching out for him when he came back to the cutting board and wrapping her arms around him. He kissed her lightly but scooted half out of her embrace and reached around her for the cheese and grater. She sighed and held him tighter, reaching her hand out to his chin and pulling his lips back to hers. She kissed him with all she had, trying to get her message across.

"Hi," he said, finally pulling back slightly but still looking into her eyes and giving her his full attention.

"Hi," she replied, "I missed you."

He moved his head down to whisper in her ear.

"I see that now," he kissed her below her earlobe, then reached up to nibble on it just a bit. Then he pushed her back and held her shoulders to keep her in place. "But I want to finish this first. Let me take care of you."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and this time she reached up to whisper in _his_ ear, "that's _exactly _what I want you to do."

"I meant _dinner_, Helen," he sighed.

"I don't want _dinner_, Nikola. Maybe dessert? If there's whipped cream involved?" she said as she ran her finger down his chest, tucking it in the waistband of his pants and pulling him closer.

"You are evil, Miss Magnus," he said as he half-heartedly tried to swat her hand away.

She reached over with both hands to unbutton his pants and succeeded before he grabbed her hands and started to dance with her, swaying to the music.

"Ten minutes until the pasta is ready. Dance with me?" he asked.

"I can think of something a lot more fun to keep us busy for 10 minutes," she said, while she swiftly reached for his zipper and pulled it down, reached in his pants and stroked him through his boxers. His body tensed, then relaxed and she knew she had his attention. In just a moment he was practically panting. He looked down at her and silently begged her to decide where she was going with this. She untucked his shirt, reaching underneath to rub her hands all over his gorgeously toned abs.

She licked her lips and claimed his mouth, letting her tongue dance with his as he turned them and leaned his back against the counter while she practically straddled him, shoving her hips into his. Then she broke the kiss and scooted down, pulling his now hard length out of his boxers and kissing the tip very gently. He shuddered. She smiled, as she was starting to get her way and kissed and licked and teased him all the way up and down... and then completely took him in her mouth and stroked him with her tongue. He groaned and grabbed her head to steady her.

"But Helen..." he choked out, "do you really want all this food to go to waste?"

"Mmm hmm," she hummed, making him now get impossibly hard. She went back to working him with her mouth, sucking him in deep before slowly dragging back. He moaned and grunted and tangled his fingers in her hair for a moment before coming back to his senses.

"I thought you wanted _me_ to take care of _you_," he teased, "if you keep doing that -ohmygod- this isn't going to last -oh, oh yeah, right there- nearly as long as you need it to." He knew she loved the teasing but she was never fully satisfied until she finished coming on top of him.

She pulled her mouth off of him, switching from sucking to kissing lightly and making him instantly regret his words as he grabbed her head again urging her back to him.

"Nikola?" she asked, then she sucked him hard and then ran her finger up and down his entire length. "Vampire," she stated simply as she pulled back, tapping her finger on the head, then dragging her tongue all along his shaft, over and over. "So tell me, is that still your argument?" she asked, as she stopped licking and looked up at him for a second, grasping him in both hands and stroking firmly yet slowly.

"Oh fuck, Helen," he forced out, again grabbing her head and shoving her towards his crotch, giving in.

"That is the idea, Nikola," she smiled and took him fully in her mouth again, picking up where she left off and increasing the pace.

"Helen. You should. I'm. Oh god. I-," he continued to mumble something but she knew his body as well as he did and she was ready as his grip tightened on the back of her head. It was polite of him to try to warn her but she wasn't pulling away and he didn't really want her to. He shot like a hot fountain into the back of her mouth. She gulped as she swallowed and sucked lightly as she pulled away to clean him off and tucked him back in his boxers, pants still unbuttoned. She coughed a tiny bit, covering her mouth and then smiling in apology up at him. She couldn't hold back a tiny giggle.

"I guess there's a reason we usually do that in the shower, yes?" she laughed.

He just beamed back at her and nodded, holding onto the counter now with both hands so he didn't fall over before he regained any strength in his knees. She straightened up and wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him into an embrace while he rested his head on her shoulder and caught his breath. They stood there for a minute, until he pulled back slightly and one of his hands reached for her arse while the other dipped a finger in her cleavage, gently stroking the tops of her breasts that peeked out above her purple lace bra. He shifted so he could rub one of his thighs between her legs. She moved up his thigh and slammed their bodies back together, noticing he had a rather impressive bulge already.

She laughed into his chest.

"See? Vampire," she said while she reached up to kiss his neck. OK, more like suck on his neck. It wouldn't leave a mark so why the hell not?

"Fine! You win!" he said with mock-annoyance. He walked confidently across to the stove as if his pants weren't falling off his hips, shut off the burners, spun around, then effortlessly picked Helen up and set her on the counter. "I suppose I should have asked you first what items you wanted to have on the menu," he said, smug grin firmly in place. "Some of this?" he pulled back her bra and kissed the top curves of her breasts. "Or this?" he spread her legs apart and worked his fingers up her bare thighs and she arched her back and he finally made it to her dripping wet heat. "Oh Helen..." he shook his head and continued, "you came in here with one thing in mind. I would have expected no panties."

She slapped him. Actually slapped him. Not hard, like she was trying to literally knock some sense into him. She was not in the mood for teasing and he was. He narrowed his eyes at her, but he couldn't drop the smirk if he tried.

"I do believe you can remedy that? As I keep reminding you..." she said as seductively and as not-desperately as she could manage.

"Yes, yes, I know. Vampire," he said quickly as he sliced right through her matching lace panties. This was why she bought three sets of everything.

He slipped his fingers in before she could even roll her eyes, making her even wetter and she gasped at the combined sensation of his fingers and how slick she was. Damn that felt good, but she needed more. More damn it. He better not tease.

He pulled his fingers out. Now she wanted to slap him harder!

Helen whined loudly in protest. "Oh right, you wanted us to have dessert. Hmm..." Nikola said as he glided over to the refrigerator and opened it, sticking his head inside and calling back to her, "whipped cream? Chocolate sauce? Oooh strawberries! You like those..." He set out a container of each and ducked his head back in, muttering, "blue jello? Why the hell do we have this? Ugh, no."

She'd taken to teasing her clit herself at this point, still seated up on the counter while he continued to search through items in the fridge. He was being adorably cute but he could be adorably cute later. She needed him to be a sexy, hard Vampire right now. "Will you shut up and get back here already?" she whined at him.

He was back in front of her in an instant and she wrapped her legs around him so he couldn't escape again. Well, not easily.

"What about Tequila? I think there was some–"

She cut him off with a powerful kiss, to which he responded immediately as he pushed up her dress and sat her back a little bit on the counter, all without letting his lips leave hers. He was having fun with this, but he wasn't stupid.

Relieved he was finally giving in, she pulled back from the kiss and reached up to unbutton his vest - why did he wear these damn things every day? - and shoved it to the floor. He tried unzipping her dress but she was having none of it, so he got half-way and went back to teasing her with his fingers. She simply ripped his shirt off - payback for the panties, and she'd buy him a new one - and she couldn't resist running her hands all over his amazing upper body. She slipped off the counter and grabbed his right arm and pressed her lips to his strong bicep, moving slowly up to his shoulder, towards his neck. Before she could capture his lips again, he whispered in her ear, "do you want to take this to our bedroom? There is no door here, and as much as I want to get you naked, I really don't like to share..."

She thought about it - one long hallway to the transport pod, then a short ride to the residential corridors and another hallway to their private suite.

"No, here's fine. Don't. Need. To be. Naked," she said between kisses, with whatever breath she could muster.

He rolled his eyes at her, reached down for and put on what was left of his shirt and picked her up bridal style, carrying her out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

Even after all this time she could not get over how much his strength turned her on. She whimpered in protest but before she knew it they were already at the end of the hallway. He turned to position her so that she could mash down on the keypad, summoning the pod.

She leaned closer to kiss him while still in his arms. Making out while being held in her vampire's arms, yeah, she couldn't find anything wrong with that. Until he ripped his lips away.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what has gotten into you?" he asked.

"I don't know, ovulating maybe?" she answered, rolling her eyes, "why does it matter?"

"Don't tease with that, you know populating the world with little geniuses is next on my list of plans for world domination," he said.

She kissed him again to wipe that smug grin off his face. Even if it wasn't possible just the thought of their combined potential turned her on.

"Maybe I just can't resist your charming good looks?" she said, still with her arms wrapped around his neck while he held her, effortlessly.

"You did that for over a century so maybe we shouldn't chance it?" he said.

"Oh Nikola, now that I know what I was missing you have nothing to worry about," she replied, shifting her weight so that he had to set her down just as the pod arrived. She grabbed his hand and tugged him inside.

He punched the right button to send them to their suite, and then, still grasping her hand, pulled her over to the cushioned seat while he sat down. She straddled him and kneeled over his lap. She thought about how he did this to her? His shirt was ripped, her panties and his vest were still on the kitchen floor and she was dragging him to bed before the artificial sun had set. Centuries to make up for, that's what she told herself.

He pulled her into another kiss and now that they were truly alone he held nothing back. Tongues dancing. Hot, wet, frantic kisses. She let her hands play with his hair and moved them across his back to pull her body as close to his as possible.

And then, they lurched to a stop.

He broke the kiss and gave her a quizzical look. They both moved to the tiny window in the pod, and saw nothing but solid walls. Damn.

"I don't suppose you have a phone tucked in that tiny dress of yours?" he asked.

"I wasn't planning on any interruptions," she replied, and gave him a helpless look.

He sighed, attempting to button what buttons were left of his shirt. He reached over and tugged Helen's dress down. She frowned at him. "Video monitor," he said.

"Crap," she thought. Poor Henry.

Helen ran her hands through Nikola's hair, trying to tame what she had ruffled up. As expected, Henry's video feed popped up on the screen and she quickly shoved Nikola to the side and stood in front of the monitor, hoping Henry wouldn't notice his disheveled shirt. Nikola just grinned at her.

"Hey Doc! Sorry, something overloaded on the habitat levels and it must have blown the power to the whole section. Did you ever find Nikola? I could use his help. The pods draw a lot of energy and aren't meant to run on backups," Henry said.

"I did find him. He's, um, here with me so I don't think he'll be of much help. Unless it's something he can walk you through?" she asked tentatively.

"You can do it yourself, Heinrich," Nikola replied, poking his head around Helen to wave at the monitor.

"Oh," he said, shaking his head trying not to focus on what he thought was going on.

"How long, Henry?" Helen asked.

"Um, I dunno, ten minutes?" Henry replied.

"Make it twenty," Nikola replied, winking at Henry and then he reached over and used his fingers to send a tiny electrical pulse to zap the monitor and camera to them shut off.

"Nikola!" she tried to scold him but she ended up squealing as he backed her into the wall of the pod.

"Good thing you're wearing heels, I don't think we can lie down in here," he said mischievously as he grabbed her thigh and lifted it to wrap around his waist, shoving his hips into hers.

"Oh dear lord," she whimpered, reaching down to shove his still unbuttoned pants to the floor.

He reached for her zipper and had her out of her dress faster than she could suggest leaving it on. He unsnapped her bra and stepped out of his pants, taking a minute to admire her in just her thigh-high stockings and heels. That was his breaking point, really. It took every last bit of willpower to hold back long enough to drop to his knees and spread her legs. He practically sucked on her thigh, just for a minute before moving closer and taking her nub into his mouth. She moaned loudly as he used his skillful tongue to lick back and forth across her clit, then changing to circles and then back again.

"Now! Please Nikola I need you NOW," she begged.

He practically threw his body up against hers and pressed her into the wall, perfectly aligning himself so he could tease her with the tip of his cock right where she wanted it. She pulled him in for another kiss as he pushed inside. She couldn't help it; she squealed with delight and then sighed with relief. He smirked at that, holding steady until she moved her hips against him and he started to slowly slide in and out while she was the one panting this time. He reached down to stroke her clit, and with the other hand reached around her to hold her arse so she could wrap her legs around his back.

He thrust as slowly as he could, not wanting to hurt her against the wall, but when she started moaning on every thrust he couldn't help himself. She could feel him hesitate.

"Please. Harder. Faster. I love. You. PLEASE," she practically cried, urging him on between thrusts and he lost it. He sped up, pounding her into while she pulled him closer to her with her legs, trying to maximize the friction. She was already on fire, she just needed release, and he delivered.

"Oh my god Nikola!" she cried, literally cried, tears falling as she was consumed with passion for him. He could feel her clamp down, and let himself join her in going over the edge. He pumped a few more times into her just to keep her going and exploded into her. This time he let her catch her breath, clinging to him. She refused to let go, holding him close, breathing heavy.

"Wow," she said after a minute, "thank you. Wow. I love you. And that. I love that. I missed you." She was sweaty and babbling but she didn't care.

He laughed softly and asked, "I love you too. Still want to take this to the bedroom?"

"YES!" she replied quickly, "I'm not done with you. I just need a minute."

"I thought I was the one with the vampire recovery times?" he teased, "why don't you let me get you into bed and go finish our dinner?"

"You are not leaving my sight for the next 24 hours," she said, reaching into his still half-buttoned shirt to feel his delicious skin.

"Not even for strawberries?" he asked, eyebrow raised. He knew she couldn't deny that.

"Only if I can feed them to you. With your hands tied behind your back," she replied.

He reached his hands up and filled his palms with her still heaving breasts. He reached down to gently tease and lick her chest and said breathily, "now, why would you want me tied up so that I can't do this?"

She arched back into him, feeling the arousal returning in all the right places. She reached her hand to his chin and pulled his face up so she could look into his eyes, and placed a finger along his bottom lip, mesmerized by his ability to make her feel like this. She leaned in for another fierce kiss.

And that instant, the pod started moving again. It was a short trip, and Helen's eyes went wide when the doors opened near their room. Thankfully no one was in the hallway (most of the staff chose rooms far away from hers once they found out she and Nikola were together) and it was a clear shot to their room. Nikola reached down for her dress and gestured to her, silently asking if she wanted it back on. She shook her head, so with one swift move he snatched up her bra too and then swept Helen into his arms and ran straight to their door. He manipulated the magnetic lock without putting her down, headed straight for the bed and she practically tackled him once he let her down, "see, I knew you'd want to get on top," he teased her. She found several good ways to shut him up.

An hour later they heard a knocking, one not coming from their headboard, and Nikola cautiously cracked open the door to find a silver platter on top of his vest and what was left of her underwear and on the tray was the chocolate, strawberries and whipped cream he had left on the counter.

There was a note.

_Tell Magnus we said welcome home. Next time don't leave the kitchen such a mess._

He laughed.

Perhaps he shouldn't be so hard on the children, he thought, "oh sweetheart… did you still want dessert?" he called to her as he reached for the tray and swung back around to close the door.

Why yes, yes she did.


End file.
